I lost a long term parishioner this morning. I joined his family around his body and we said prayers together. I attended services for another long term parishioner in another congregation this afternoon. Then I had coffee with a parishioner who is grieving various deaths in his own life. He was trying to make sense of death and loss in his life. So we got to talking. Why do people die? What could God possibly have been thinking?
I remember studying the “question of evil” (why does God let bad things happen?) back in college. And the thought then, and I think it’s probably right, was what was called the “soul building” defense: God lets bad things happen because God thinks something good will come out of it, which could otherwise not happen — spiritual growth resulting in a developed soul. God invites us to become something, something worth becoming. If we had forever, and never died, we might never get around to becoming what God is calling us to become. And growing, as God wants us to grow, requires that we have the freedom to make real choices — which include choices that hurt ourselves, others and God’s creation.
In fact, I have a split view of death. On the one hand, death is certainly final in this world we live in. I’m inclined to go with (I believe it’s) Dylan Thomas: “do not go gentle into that good night/rage, rage against the dying of the light.” That’s roughly what he said to his father, who was dying, in his poem. And yet I also trust that I will be whole and loved in a life to come, beyond this one. I fear it, and I rage against it, but I believe my death will lead me into a kind of fuller, more complete life with my God. Sometimes I can even look forward to that.
I also think life is worth living. I would rather live and die than never live at all. I’ve lost loved ones to death. I feel blessed by their lives. I’m glad I knew them. I believe they are in loving hands.
January 7, 2009 at 9:25 am
I couldn’t agree with you more. As a person with “clinical depression”, it is difficult this time of year to escape “seasonal depression” as well. It’s as if the body is fighting twice as hard to not take the easy way out and end your life. However, with every self serving thought of suicide, we must remember that life is a gift from God. Depression runs in my family, and though we’ve had many suicide attempts- no one has been successful. However, because of those attempts I have learned that suicide is both selfish and wrong. Therefore, securing my own passion for life and living. I hope that those who have recently lost a loved one are reminded that they too need to stick around with the rest of us to fulfill God’s wish for us.
January 7, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Leslie! Again, thank you for your kind response. I can only wish you joy in your life and a sense of God’s presence to sustain you. Depression is such a difficult thing to live with, and this season can make it harder, both with the weather, and with the busy, happy festivities that have been ongoing for the season just past. That can be tough when you are not feeling that way yourself.