December 15, 2011
Reading Kaufman’s Kingbird Highway. He’s talking about hitching from Arizona to Pennsylvania, and it brings back old memories.
I did a lot of driving, birding, in college, with Frosh.
But I did a lot of hitching (and some picking up) in college too.
I remember two pickups in particular. (more…)
October 19, 2011
My friend, Jill’s, father died recently.
Turns out his first name was William. Maybe I knew that once? But he was really just Jill’s dad to me. And he was a character. He worked at Cal Tech, and for a while he was in the Guinness Book of Records as the inventor (builder?) of the world’s smallest working machine. (They eventually did away with this category.) When a group, including Jill and I, were arrested for civil disobedience (in protest of the use of antipersonnel weapons in areas with civilian populations during the Vietnam War) he took (I believe) a still photo of the TV coverage (back when cameras were not digital) as a memento for us. I wonder if Jill still has it — she keeps that kind of thing. (more…)
November 20, 2010
Again, from the writer’s group; we were working on (the Lutheran’s) Reformation Sunday “If the Son makes you free, you are free indeed.” Here’s my response:
How free am I in Christ?
What does it even mean to be free in Christ?
I’m clear that I cannot earn and will never deserve my salvation. It’s simply a gift offered and received.
But maybe something needs to be said about the receiving?
I’ve probably said this before. But the controlling image in my mind for grace is marriage.
I don’t deserve (and could never have earned) Anne’s love. But the gift of her love was offered and (so far) has been something I received.
But the receiving changes me. If I love Anne, I live differently. I choose to do, some things at least, because I know they will please her. And I avoid doing other things I know will hurt her.
I do this as myself. A real turning point in our relationship [as I remember it] came when she broke up with me, I think right after I asked her to marry me, and we reconciled (within a couple of days).
What she told me was, “You are not my Prince Charming …” — which was why we broke up. “But,” she continued, “I love you anyway.”
So I was free to be me, and still be loved.
Maybe God has created me to be someone in particular. Maybe I am most fully myself as I become that person. But it isn’t primarily about rules and expectations. it’s about love and relationship.
And I’m free to be me.
I’m free to become myself.
At my own pace.
Lived out in a loving relationship.
I’m thinking that’s what it might mean to be “free indeed in Christ.”
August 24, 2010
Just a heads up. I’m planning in the near future to change the name of this blog. I had originally thought I might call it The Sunset Juggler. I have the photo (no, I’m the photographer, not the juggler) to go with the name. And my sense of life in general, and life with God and scripture in particular, is that we are always juggling and wrestling to find our way. And, this is more true for me since maybe April of this year, in the aftermath of my gastric bypass surgery, as I see the probability of retirement of some kind approaching (more quickly, I suspect, than I had anticipated), I also see myself as being (at least at the start of) the sunset of my years. (more…)
August 4, 2010
We have been blessed to have a week in a timeshare (The Sandpiper) in Lincoln City, Oregon these past three years. For me this is really an annual slice of heaven. I’m going to miss it next year. Anne’s school starts too early (or our week runs too late). It’s a nice place, by my standards. A bit shabby, but comfortable. We’re on a bluff above the beach, overlooking the ocean. With the sliding glass door on the balcony open (as it is now, and most of the time we’re home) I can hear the waves breaking and there is a gentle ocean breeze. I don’t think I can tell you how nice this is.
I think I could have a wonderful vacation of we never got out of the house! (more…)
May 19, 2010
Ok. So I’m back from my (CREDO 2) conference in Virginia, and trying to get back into the swing of things. And for me that includes reading the daily offices (out of the St. Helena Breviary). So I’ve been reading today about Dunstan (who was born in 910 C.E. and died in 988 C.E.).
This morning I read the commentary from Brightest and Best (where it was commented that when clergy travel without their collars they often annoy people who want them “belled like a cat” so that they know their normal, every day lives are being interrupted by an emissary from the spiritual life). And I’ve been thinking since about the sacred and the profane in Benedictine thought (more…)
May 7, 2010
Our diocese is trying to do something new with what we used to call stewardship. We’re trying to focus on what we have to be grateful for — all of which comes, of course, from G0d.
I have to admit that I have a real tendency to notice what I do not have, particularly if I used to have it, and often do not pay nearly so much attention to what I do have. Which is a lot. And I find this to be true whether I’m looking at money or youth or health or things. I know I have a lot (a whole lot compared to the rest of the world as a whole). And I still often notice more what I do not have. I suspect there are some other people like me out there. I think our culture trains us this way. (more…)
May 2, 2010
So, Anne and I are back from (my doing) supply in Alturas. It was fun. I was there as their priest quarter time just over 16 years ago (the last year I was in Susanville). Have seen some of the people since, but hadn’t been back to the church. (I’d forgotten exactly how to get there!) (more…)
April 8, 2010
Well, after reading Brother Adam’s piece on simplicity (and ashes, and how he had chosen to look at the ashes of his own losses, rather than the rebirth that was happening out of the ashes), I’m hesitant to write (yet again) about my gastric bypass experiences. And I need to acknowledge up front that, on balance, this remains a resurrection experience for me. I continue to lose weight at a brisk pace (almost 50 pounds since February 8), I continue to reduce my medications (though not officially with the last reduction) and new life possibilities are opening up (not all of them having to do with my health). So the bottom line is still good news here. I went out with a friend Monday (I’m on vacation this week) and took a lot of photographs in the Sausalito area. Life is, mostly, good.
But I’ve been blogging about this mainly so that others who are considering such a surgery (there are other surgical options) or someone going through this can get a sense of what this has been like (is like) for me — and (remembering that every experience is completely individual), just possibly what it might be like for them. And probably the biggest learning is that it is an ongoing process (and likely to remain so for a long time). I keep wanting to be completely “healed.” But it doesn’t look like it’s going to work out that way in any near future. I’m going to have to live with this and adapt to this for some time to come. Maybe a year or two from what I can gather. And even then I expect life to be very different from life pre surgery. (more…)
March 18, 2010
Well, much as I want to say I’m fully recovered from the surgery, and simply looking at how life moves forward after gastric bypass surgery is accomplished, I keep getting reminders that I’m not there yet. And, as my wife reminds me, I cannot really expect to be “over” the surgery and fully recovered and back to a new normal yet. It’s been just over five weeks. I haven’t had my second follow-up visit with my doctor yet. I don’t know if my vitamins are in balance. I’m not eating “normal” food yet — just “soft” food. (more…)
